Sacred Sexuality Needs Grit, Not Perfection

Antoine Sepulchre

Article published on

July 4, 2025

The hidden danger of unspoken desire in neo-tantra and the path of radical transparency.

There’s a distortion that runs through many so-called sacred sexuality spaces.

It doesn’t begin with abuse.
It begins with dishonesty.

Not the kind that lies.
The kind that hides behind white robes, shamanic titles, and poetic language.
The kind that pretends there’s no desire moving in the room, because acknowledging it would break the illusion of mastery.

But let’s get real.

When a man and a woman enter a space of high energetic intimacy, with eye contact, breathwork, touch, or even just presence, it’s natural for sexual desire to arise. It’s human. It’s not a flaw. It’s physics.

And repressing it doesn’t neutralize it.
It feeds it.

From a quantum perspective, every ounce of energy we spend trying to suppress our desire actually goes to amplify it. That’s how we end up with “awakened” masters crossing lines, with confused consent, and trauma masked as initiation.

The problem is not desire.
The problem is unspoken desire.

The cure is not perfection.
The cure is transparency.

Let’s stop pretending that the sacred path is pure and polished.
It’s not.

It’s messy, wild, erotic, tender, uncomfortable.
It brings up parts of us we’d rather not see, especially the parts that want to fuck like animals, to dominate, to be chosen, to control, to win.

And here’s something most people don’t say:
Women can feel it.

Even if a man only feel 1% of sexual desire, even if it’s just one passing thought, she can feel it. Because men are energetic, and women are magnetic. Woman naturally amplify what men radiate.

And if we pretend we’re 100% pure -when we’re actually 99% pure- it can create confusion, frustration, or even a sense of being rejected.

Not because the desire is wrong, but because it’s hidden.

A story from my own journey:

About a year ago, I offered a massage to a friend in a professional context. We were both naked, and before the session I had invited her, with clarity, to share anything that might arise, even fantasies or desires. Toward the end, she expressed feeling a desire to take my sex into her mouth. And for just a few seconds, I felt a pulse of desire in return. As a result I got disconnected from my center, I took my sex in my hand and pretend to direct it to her mouth. It was a micro-movement of only 2 or 3 seconds, barely perceptible.

I came back quickly.
Nothing happened.
The session ended in peace.

But a few weeks later, she shared that something felt off. She couldn’t identify what it was, just a subtle discomfort.

I took responsibility. I told her what had happened in my system, in those few seconds when I left my center. When I shared that, she recognized it, that was the moment of misalignment she had felt.

I offered my apology and to refund her the session, not as a transaction, but as a gesture of reparation. We both moved on in clarity.

That experience humbled me. It showed me that even a few seconds of unconsciousness can create an impact.

So I took a full year off offering massages to women.

I’ve been in dozens of sessions before, often holding strong containers, even through intense projections or seductive attempts. But that day, probably because I had a more personal bond with this woman, I let a subtle door open… and that’s all it took.

This is why we must speak.

Because abuse doesn’t start with force.
It starts with energetic dishonesty.

We’re not here to be perfect.
We’re here to be real.
To stay awake.
To take radical responsibility,
especially when our shadows get loud.

So yes: if something arises, a desire, a fantasy, a pulse, we bring it into the light. We name it. We breathe with it. We hold it in truth.
And we never pretend it’s not there.

That’s how we create clean, sovereign consent.
That’s how we walk this path without hiding behind it.

Let’s stop spiritualizing our shadows.
Let’s stop seducing through the back door.
Let’s stop expecting perfection.

And let’s meet each other fully, humbly, courageously in the living fire of WHAT IS.

The Shadow is Not the Enemy — It’s the Threshold

This isn’t a new problem. It’s an ancient pattern, encoded in the very myths that shape our humanity.

In the story of Adam and Eve, we see a version of this dynamic:

The masculine receives a temptation.
The feminine amplifies it, not to seduce, but to reveal the unconscious.
And it is through the fall, not its avoidance, that evolution begins.

In Indian mythology, the same role is held by Kali.

The fierce face of the feminine, who doesn’t stroke the ego, she dismembers it.
She shows the masculine his own illusions, his buried desires, his untamed fears.
Not to punish, but to liberate.

The feminine, in sacred intimacy, is not there to flatter the “master.”
She is there to activate.
To amplify what’s hidden.
To set fire to anything that is false.

And if the man hasn’t met his shadow,
he will take that fire as an attack.
But if he’s ready,
he will recognize it as a rite of passage.